This Is My Therapy...

Yeah, this is where I come to be me and to share me. It's very therapeutic at times, those times when I have something to say and feel the need to say it. Things roll around in the head sometimes hitting the sides pretty hard trying to make their way out. It's a bit of a headache. So that's what I'm going to start doing here.

Seegars 

From a while ago.

I used to do Searching The South. Another blog. 

Springs Park

Time Isn't Going To Wait For You

A quick post to Facebook this morning which I shared on Twitter as well:

________

Sitting her in the dark with my coffee reading a little news and Sam my eight year old climbs up in my lap and lays his head on my chest. I put my phone down and we sit there and chat for a minute.

Soon, he won’t do that anymore. He’ll be too big for that and we’ll cross that line between father and son and be two men who still have affection for each other but some things don’t happen after a certain age.

Life is weird. Life is quick. Age takes more than what you can do physically. It takes the heart out of ya.

______

I'm getting older, things like this are getting to me more and more. I'll be fifty this year. I want to always be there for my kids and I know that me being a mere mortal (it's true, no matter what you've heard) that I won't live forever.

I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

#WorkStuff

I cannot understand where real work ethic went in the generation that came after me, especially when I see it in the generation after them. Now it isn't all of them, but a great deal of them are generally lazy and looking for someone else to do every bit of their work. I don't mind helping folk out here and there, as a matter of fact I enjoy working with people from time to time because in the job I work now we rarely get to work as a true team. It breaks up the monotony of being absolutely on your own as a representative of our company all the time.

No, I don't mind, but the unwillingness to do what needs doing and the lack of care when one is given a responsibility really ticks me off. (I would say that IF you're reading this you know who you are, but I really don't think you would realize that it is indeed you I'm speaking of.)

Some believe that they really don't have to do the job, that they'll slide right on by.

I enjoy the "deer in the headlights look".

That part is coming soon.

I'm changing over from Searching The South. There will still be posts about photography and things we do as a family, but I feel a need to have my own voice. That's something that's being pushed down nowadays.

I intend to push back.

Seegars 

Coming soon.

Just a test of a thing I'm trying out. Nothing to see here. Move along.

#TruckStuff

I haven't felt like writing here in quite some time. I really haven't had anything to say although I've had a lot to write about.

We had some great family adventures this summer and I am trying to decide whether to keep Searching the South going (with all five of it's followers on Wordpress) or just start fresh here and let this be it.

This weekend was all about cleaning the garage. Me and the kids went to work Saturday morning and got a lot done. It's actually clean and you can walk around in it. I still have a lot to do organizing this and that. but that will come. Hopefully.

Maybe.

After all that was done I started looking at the truck. Anyone that knows me knows that I love #WhiteyFord. It's hard to find a late model used Ford Ranger for sale and I found this one. It's mine. And so I take care of him.

The front bumper was faded and so I looked for an option. I thought about replacing it with a new bumper ($$$) and then I saw Dupli-Color Trim and Bumper Paint at Advance Auto Parts. My bumper was serviceable it was just ugly. So with a little sanding here and there and a can of the trim and bumper paint I had this knocked out in an hour.

Something else I found on Amazon several weeks ago was (were? Don't care) a pair of OEM fog lights. In the last couple of years the hard truth of old age has brought me to the conclusion that I may as well be blind at night. At one time I had absolutely awesome night vision so no problems, but...

Getting old sucks!

This afternoon instead of sitting in the recliner and watching TV and falling asleep I took on the task of installing these and I'm a happy camper.

#AllTheLights - YFT

So it turned out to be at least a productive weekend, which usually isn't the case. I usually feel like I've wasted a lot of time on the weekend sitting around. I suppose I'm trying to keep moving while I can.

I'll let you decide which one is which.

I need to give a nod to Pinky and the Brain as well. They busted their butts helping in the garage yesterday and earned a little extra money. It's good for kids to work and learn a little responsibility. At least that's what we think around here. (And Sam's asthma kicked him for trying to be productive last night. Boo asthma!)



I'd also like to brag about the fact that I kept 99.3% of the blood and skin I had when I started my weekend projects, that's a win!

I'm still walking, although mainly at work. I'm worn out by the end of the day. I'll usually see about six miles on foot at work, at least that's something. And my legs are probably the most muscular thing on me. I have AN ab.

Maybe I'll post again, maybe I won't. But I need to make a decision. I just don't know.

Heroes

I've been taking inventory of my heroes lately.

The first and most important for me (fictionally) is Captain America. Cap always does what's right, not easiest. He finishes the task laid out before him and doesn't let anything stop him. I love the symbolism of just the uniform and it's the only time that it fills me with pride instead of disgust to see the flag worn unless it's a patch a pin to show patriotism. Cap ruled.

And then Marvel went and turned him into something completely against what he is. A Nazi. Working for HYDRA. This killed me.

Now, I don't know where this leaves my next favorite and his band of merry men and women, but, Phil Coulson is, to me, the more realistic hero. Just an ordinary guy with extraordinary backing (at times) who also does what's right, not easiest. And also finishes the task laid out before him, letting nothing stop him. So I guess I am an unofficial agent and will follow my leader.

We'll see what happens.

I started this and then took a while to write again, so this is just something that was in my head. If I don't write it down it will chew its way out.

4.9 miles today. Still walkin'.

#Quickie

It's a quickie.

Maybe it's just me but I am thoroughly disgusted by the way people are nowadays.

I try to do what I can, but, the country is falling apart around us and a lot of folks seem content to just let it fall.
We used to not be like this. We wanted better. Apparently not anymore.

More later.

A Day Off

I have the day off due to short hours this week for our company. New contracts coming around and we are waiting for new business to start up. I work four eights this week and Wednesday happened to be the day I didn't have to work. I guess it's kind of nice to have a day in the middle of the week where I can just sit and do nothing if I want to. I was going to go out and do a few things but I realized I would be back in the truck driving, I spend a lot of my time on the road every week. My closest store to home is an hour drive.

I don't mind driving, I actually love driving. It's time to myself and as long as I've got music and podcasts to keep me going, I'm good. No, my problem is that I don't think I really ever developed the art of stopping. It's a great thing to be a good, trustworthy employee. To get the job done and do it as efficiently as possible. I go to the point of not being able to say no though, and that's a weakness. I need to learn to refuse to go beyond my means. That's why I ended up hurt several months ago, resulting in my being out of work for over two months. Even then I felt like I was a burden to my coworkers. Taking on extra stores is rough when you include the distance between and the time put in driving here and there. It affects your attitude and has a negative effect on the rest of your life. The extra money is always good, but money isn't everything.

I was about to leave a little while ago when the little man inside my head that usually screams "Hey, don't say that!" or "NO! THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA!" quietly said "Stay."

And I listened. I'm sitting here now writing this in my recliner. I may run to the grocery in town later to pick up a few things. I may fold some clothes for the wife (don't hold your breath, honey. Just cause I write it doesn't mean it's in stone) and putter around the house.

Yes. A day off. Just for myself. That's weird to me.

8+ miles yesterday.

Still walkin'.

The Mechanic

As scary a thought as it might be, especially to my friends, I am in a leadership role at church for our Royal Ambassadors. If you don't know what that is think of it as a boy scouts type group but focused more on missions. It's a part of the WMU (Women's Missionary Union). I really enjoy working with the boys, which my son, Sam, is one of them. We get together and learn about being a Christian and helping others and we have several activities one of them being what I'm writing about tonight, the track meet.

THE BOYS

When I was younger RA's were my Scouts. We were at church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. It was our life and for me a way simpler time. We always had a big group of at least ten boys. We did leather working, woodworking, learned about knives, etc. Some of the teachers I had then I serve with in the church now. I only hope I'm doing half the job they did with me. This track meet was a start and our first outing since I've started with the boys. I'm not alone in this. One of my leaders in RA's wives is now a leader with the RA's as well and the main force behind WMU at our church, Miss Kay! Think of her as the den mother to make it easier, again, if you don't know what I'm talking about.

It's a regular track meet. There are running events, sack races, long jumps, shot put, baseball, softball throw and all that great stuff along with (believe it or not) pellet gun target shooting and a pinewood derby.
My favorite project with the boys has become pinewood derby. It's fun just to sit and make the cars with them. We won all of zero medals yesterday on our first outing but THEY DIDN'T CARE! It was fun to finally come out after a couple of months of work and show off what we had made, and so we did. It was exciting just to sit

the cars down on an honest to goodness track and let them have that first race against each other. And no one cared who won, they were patting each other on the back and congratulating each other. Better sports than most grownups I know.

Like Jake told the other boys Wednesday night and again for me on Saturday morning, "We're not here for prizes guys, it's just about having fun."

The wisdom of a seven year old. I'm lucky to have someone that young and level headed to teach me something I already knew but had forgotten because I decided to grow up. If only I were a Lost Boy.

I can say this. If you're a grown man and feel like you missed out on anything, give it a try. Pinewood Derby, pellet guns, slingshots, go and skip rocks on a pond, CLIMB A TREE if your knees and hip can take it. Just go do!

I'm not forgetting you. I know you were there too. The girls. The GA's (Girls In Action) our female counterparts and the other prettier half of our team. The ones who cleaned up on the medals yesterday and gave a proud showing for our church. Two of you run like the wind blows (to quote Forrest Gump).

THE GIRLS

You're a tough bunch ladies and we are glad to have you right along side of us. And I really enjoyed the fact that you wanted in on the pinewood derby as well. And not one request for a pink car which I have to admit, I suppose ashamedly, surprised me. I don't even know if they make a can of pink spray paint but I would have gladly went out and found one. I love a tomboy and my daughter, Logan, will remind you that she is one.

While we were running the ladies cars yesterday I was asked who I was by one of the gentlemen running the track and before I could answer one of the girls answered, "He builds our cars. He's our mechanic!"

                                                                                                                                             And so I leave you at the end of another rambling post with this.

Five+ miles yesterday.

Still walkin'.

Rules

We live by rules. We can't function without them no matter how much we may lie to ourselves. We all go about saying that we live how we want but most of us just want to be regular folk living life. That's called a society, civilized living. And to do that we establish rules.

I have rules. Before Gibb's spoke it on NCIS I have always carried a knife. That has been an unspoken Rule #1 for me for years. I've had a knife since I was eight or nine years old. Boys don't get to do that anymore, have a knife at that age. We've moved beyond that, away from that, somehow. I think it's sad. Boys will be boys isn't even a true saying anymore. They aren't allowed to be.

I don't let people waste my time either. That's another rule. It non negotiable. You can never get your time back. If I can help it at all I am efficient with my time. Although, since I'm probably the only one reading this, I may have wasted it here. Maybe not. This is therapeutic for me. Writing down what comes into my head.

Today was a hard day. Short enough, but irritating to an extent that just had me so worked up I couldn't stand it.

I enjoy working. Doesn't matter what the job is, as long as I'm happy and can provide, I'm good. I make a little progress everyday with people I have to work around. Some I have just fallen in with from the start and I really like that. Who wouldn't? It's hard to explain. We are close, but not too personal? Friends, but something more? Something less? I don't know.

BIG RULE.

Rudeness will not be tolerated. I cannot abide rudeness. You have to be respectful of people if you're around me. I'll call you out as sure as I would one of my children. Everyone deserves respect until they show that they don't.

I always try to make sure that I leave a little more with a person than I take. Friends come and friends go. Some will love me always and some will hate me, always. That's how it is and some things weren't meant to last long, some are.

I have friends all over the world. I know doors I can knock on and be welcomed in like not even a minute has passed when in fact it has been decades. It's nice to carry a history of people and feelings like that in your heart. It's nice to know they are out there.

Anyway, where was I going with this?

I don't know.

As Joel Secrest used to say, God rest his soul, "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP! Tomorrow's Friday."

I can get behind that.

Thanks for your time. It's precious, you know?

Don't waste it reading my drivel.

4.2 miles today. Still walkin'.